O.K Computer

November 24, 2008

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Dayne Duranti

O.K Computer

I am Jack’s hemorrhaging Larynx.


I spent most of last evening screaming at the television until the late hours. I woke up this morning and continued to scream at the television. I am pretty sure that I screamed in my sleep as well.


I have never seen a complete dismemberment of a highly ranked football squad like last night’s decapitation of the Texas Tech Red Raiders by the Oklahoma Sooners, and for the benefit of my impending ulcers, I hope I never do again.  


No.5 Oklahoma destroyed the No. 2 ranked Red Raiders in almost every category, completely deflating the blow up Cinderella that Tech has been courting.


Perhaps my faithful football readers, you have been reading my words of encouragement that I have been spouting forth in favor of Texas Tech. I was apparently wrong. The Red Raiders were man handled like a couple of drunk girls at a frat party.


My disappointment in the outcome of Saturday night’s football game is only equaled by my disappointment that in the same week McKey beat out the beautiful Samantha for America’s Next Top Model.


Sitting through the 65-21 routing of Texas Tech on Sat. was about as pleasant as a colonoscopy, I suppose the situation was different for Toby Keith and the 80,000 Sooner fans in Norman. The only thing that even got me to 11:30 was the Narragansett Beer that I was drinking over ice (because straight it is terrible.) I only had the swag because my buddy Andy from Newport insisted that we drink the swill a couple nights before.


I have gotten off base. My head is still spinning after viewing the BCS standings all day and trying to make sense of what is, what was, and what could be. Let’s see if I have it straight…


If Texas, Texas Tech and Oklahoma all win next week there will be a three way tie for the Big 12 South. There is only room for two in a bowl game. Texas beat Oklahoma, Oklahoma beat Texas Tech, and Texas Tech beat Texas. Leaving it anyone’s guess who the computer will pick for the bowl games. O.K Computer.


Remember “2001: A Space Odyssey,” when the computer was trying to kill humans? Hmmm. Lets kill the computer like they did in the movie and have a god for blasted playoff! It’s the only way that makes sense! Even our incoming President feels this way; maybe he will pass legislation for a NCAA Football Playoff.


I can hear the computer’s voice slowing down now


“What are you doing Brent?”


“Musburger, what arrre yooou dooooing?


“I thought weeee were friends Brennnnt”



Keywords: BCS, Brent Musburger, NCAA Football, Oklahoma, Red Raiders, Sooners, Texas Tech

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